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Beer
You can't be a real country unless you
have a beer and an airline - it helps if you
have some kind of a football team, or some
nuclear weapons, but at the very least
you need a beer.
Frank Zappa
Always do sober what you said
you'd do drunk. That will teach
you to keep your mouth shut.
Ernest Hemmingway
Always remember that I have taken
more out of alcohol than alcohol
has taken out of me.
Winston Churchill
He was a wise man
who invented beer.
Plato
Time is never wasted
when you're wasted
all the time.
Catherine Zandonella
A woman drove me to drink
and I didn't even have the
decency to thank her.
W.C. Fields
If God hadn't intended us to
drink beer, He wouldn't have
given us stomachs.
David Daye
Work is the curse of
the drinking class.
Oscar Wilde
When I read about the evils of
drinking, I gave up reading.
Henny Youngman
Beer is proof that God loves us
and wants us to be happy.
Benjamin Franklin
If you ever reach total enlightenment
while drinking beer, I bet it makes
beer shoot out your nose.
Deep Thought
Jack Handy
Without question, the greatest invention
in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I
grant you that the wheel was also a fine
invention, but the wheel does not go
nearly as well with pizza.
Dave Barry
The problem with the world is that
everyone is a few drinks behind.
Humphrey Bogart
Why is American beer served
cold? So you can tell it from urine.
David Moulton
People who drink light "beer" don't
like the taste of beer; they just like
to pee alot.
Capital Brewery,
Middleton, WI
Give me a woman who loves beer
and I will conquer the world.
Kaiser Welhelm
I would kill everyone in this room
for a drop of sweet beer.
Homer Simpson
Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals
such as hydrogen and oxygen, for example,
there would be no way to make water,
a vital ingredient in beer.
Dave Barry
I drink to make other
people interesting.
George Jean Nathan
They who drink beer
will think beer.
Washington Irving
An intelligent man is sometimes
forced to be drunk to
spend time with his fools.
For Whom the Bell Tolls,
Ernest Hemmingway
You're not drunk if you can lie
on the floor without holding on.
Dean Martin
All right, brain, I don't like you and
you don't like me - so let's just do
this and I'll get back to killing
you with beer.
Homer Simpson
