A system support specialist's life is a
sorry one. The only advantage he has over
ER doctors is that malpractice suits are
rare. On the other hand, ER doctors
never have to deal with patients installing
new versions of their own innards!
Dick Maliska
Imagine if every Thursday
your shoes exploded
if you tied them the usual way.
This happens to us all the
time with computers, and
nobody thinks of complaining.
?Jeff Raskin
Applying computer technology is
simply finding the right wrench
to pound in the correct screw.
?Anonymous
The Programmer's Time-Space
Continuum is defined as
"Programmers continuously
space the time."
?Leon Lanthier
Computers are useless -
they only give you answers.
?Pablo Picasso
"Paradosfunctionoracle" is the term
used by technicians to describe
the reason no one knows why
your computer won't work.
?J. H. Goldfuss
No machine will increase
the possibilities of life.
They only increase the
possibilities of idleness.
?John Ruskin
All programmers are playwrights
and all computers are lousy actors.
?Anonymous
Computers can figure out all kinds
of problems, except the things
in the world that just don't add up.
?James Magary
Computer Science is no
more about computers
than astronomy is
about telescopes.
?E W Dijkstra
Where a calculator on the ENIAC is
equpped with 18,000 vaccuum tubes
and weighs 30 tons, computers
in the future may have
only 1,000 vaccuum tubes
and perhaps weigh 1 1/2 tons.
?Popular Mechanics, 1949
Computers make it easier to do a lot of things,
but most of the things they make
it easier to do don't need to be done.
?Andy Rooney
Not even computers will replace committees,
because committees buy computers.
?Edward Shepherd Mead
A complex system that works is
invariably found to have evolved
from a simple system that worked.
?John Gall
There won't be anything we won't
say to people to try and convince
them that our way is the way to go.
?Bill Gates
If you can't make it good,
at least make it look good.
?Bill Gates
Looking at the proliferation of
personal web pages on the net,
it looks like very soon everyone on earth
will have 15 Megabytes of fame.
?MG Siriam
Surfing on the Internet is like sex;
everyone boasts about doing
more than they actually do.
But in the case of the
Internet, it's a lot more.
?Tom Fasulo
Cyberspace: A consensual hallucination
experienced daily by billions of
legitimate operators, in every nation.
?William Gibson
URLs are the 800 numbers of the 1990's.
?Chris Clark
My favorite thing about the Internet is
that you get to go into the private world
of real creeps without
having to smell them.
?Penn Jillett
We've all heard that a million monkeys
banging on a million typewriters will eventually
reproduce the entire works of Shakespeare.
Now, thanks to the Internet,
we know this is not true.
?Robert Wilensky
It shouldn't be too much of a surprise
that the Internet has evolved
into a force strong enough to reflect the greatest
hopes and fears of those who use it.
After all, it was designed to withstand nuclear war,
not just the puny huffs and puffs
of politicians and religious fanatics.
?Denise Caruso
Wow! They've got the internet
on computers now!
?Homer Simpson
Man is a game playing animal and
a computer is another way to play games.
?Scott Adams
I do not fear computers.
I fear lack of them.
?Isaac Asimov
Programming today is a race between
software engineers striving to build
bigger and better idiot-proof programs,
and the universe trying to produce
bigger and better idoits.
So far, the Universe is winning.
?Rich Cook
If automobiles had followed the same
development cycle as the computer,
a Rolls-Royce would today cost $100,
get a million miles per gallon,
and explode once a year,
killing everyone inside.
?Robert Cringely
I try to get people to see what I have...
When you run a computer company,
you have to get people
to buy into your dreams.
?Steve Jobs
The most overlooked advantage
to owning a computer is that
if they foul up there's no law against
wacking them around a little.
?Porterfield
People who buy Macs are the
same people who said BETA is
better than VHS 15 years ago.
?Anonymous
Technology is dominated
by two types of people:
those who understand
what they do not manage,
and those who manage
what they do not understand.
?Anonymous
But in our enthusiasm, we could not resist
a radical overhaul of the system,
in which all of its major weaknesses have been
exposed, analyzed,
and replaced with new weaknesses.
?Bruce Leverett
Anybody who's studied software
engineering knows that a schedule
which underestimates the time
needed to develop a project
actually makes the project take longer.
?Talin, computer game programmer
