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Family Guy Quotes

Family Guy Quotes #1
Do these huggies make my ass look big?

Family Guy Quotes #2
Chris, everything I say is a lie. Except that. And that. And that. And that. And that. And that. And that. And that.

Family Guy Quotes #3
OH! mmm yes oh god this is better than SEX!

Family Guy Quotes #4
Tom, you're so deep in the closet you're finding Christmas presents.

Family Guy Quotes #5
Brian Griffin: Face it Peter, you get competitive about everything.
Peter Griffin: I am so not competitive. In fact, I am the least non-competitive. So I win.

Family Guy Quotes #6
Excuse me, is your refrigerator running? Because if it is, it probably runs like you, very homosexually.

Family Guy Quotes #7
Brothers and sisters fighting is as natural as a white mans dialogue in a Spike Lee movie.

Family Guy Quotes #8

Peter:"I walked into the kitchen and sat down at the table. I looked with a grimace at the questionable meal Lois had placed in front of me. Of course I'd never tell her how disgusted I was with her cooking, but somehow I think she knew. Lois had always been full of energy and life, but lately I had begun to grow more aware of her aging. The bright, exuberant eyes that I had fallen in love with were now beginning to grow dull and listless with the long fatigue of a weary life.
I woke several hours later in a daze."

Family Guy Quotes #9

Stewie: So, is there any tread left on the tires? Or at this point would it be like throwing a hot dog down a hallway?

Family Guy Quotes #10

Guy on Airplane: Oh great, I always end up sitting next to a damn baby.
Stewie: What did you just say?
Lois: Stewie, stop fussing.
Stewie: Pipe down Lois. Hey big man, turn around. Oh you can't hear me now. I was going to watch the movie, but forget it. For the next 5 hours, you're my bitch.

Family Guy Quote #11

Tricia: So meg, how does it feel to be the center of attention?
Meg: Oh my god, you talkin to me? Are you talkin to me? (gasp) Ok, Ok, well, I thought a lot about it, and I...
Tricia: And here comes David Bowie!
Tricia: David, what bings you all the way to...
David Bowie: Shhhhhh! Oh baby, just you shut your mouth.
Tricia: Ohhhhhhh! Make love to me, Ziggy Stardust! I take you home, I make you fish bowl soup! Fish bowl!
Tom Tucker: Thank you, Tricia, for setting your people back a thousand years...