A kleptomaniac is a person who helps
himself because he can't help himself.
Stolen sweets are best.
I know a baseball star who wouldn't
report the theft of his wife's credit
cards because the thief
spends less than she does.
There are men so incorrigibly lazy
that no inducement that you can
offer will tempt them to work; so eaten
up by vice that virtue is abhorrent
to them, and so inveterably dishonest
that theft is to them a master passion.